Want to read Essay on Grandparents? They are Pillars of Joint Family.
Grandparents are known as the core of the family. They are experienced, competent, and share valuable life experiences to help new generations learn and grow. They assist their children and grandchildren selflessly and support them become good people.
Conventional family system: Some factors that support this ideology:
In a shared family system, when a child stays with grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins, he learns how to bond with various people. Such children rarely have difficulty interacting with people when they leave, compared to those who see their parents or domestic help for most of the day.
Valuable lessons for life:
When children are in the development stage, and they need to learn valuable lessons that will help them better understand life. Parents are mostly busy with their works, and it is difficult for them to spend time with their children and teach them the little things in life.
Grandparents are much more experienced and often spend much more time with children in a shared family system. Children living in a shared family, therefore, learn ethical, moral values and other valuable lessons for life.
Broadens their horizons:
Children often imitate us. When they remain in a nuclear family, they often adapt to their mother’s or father’s habits and begin to behave in a certain way.
However, remaining in a shared family broadens their perspective. They contact different people and learn how one task can be done in different ways, and they choose a way that they like rather than imitating.
Sharing and care:
Although a child can enjoy the company of different family members living in a shared family system, this is not the only goal. He understands that every great and small thing brought is not entirely and exclusively for him.
It is to be divided among the members. Therefore, it helps to develop the habit of sharing and sensitizes it to the needs of others.
All special occasions, such as birthdays and festivals, become all the more special when you celebrate them together.
Grandparents act as a great family support system. You can count on them at any time. As they grow older, they also require attention and care, and a shared family also meets their requirements.
In the nuclear family, grandparents are ignored. Parents believe that the presence of grandparents will interfere in raising among children. However, having grandparents in the family has more advantages than disadvantages. Read on to find out how.
“The quarrels would not last long if the fault was only on one side.”
Since the number of nuclear families in which both partners work is continuously increasing, the maids are raising children. Important development tasks, such as socialization, discipline, and language development, are left to television or the maid.
Although parents know that it is not in the best interests of their children, still they accept them, because they do not allow for interference in their routine life.
Parents [especially the mother] experience full freedom and authority with the growing child and the administration of the whole family, at modest costs of a monthly maid’s remuneration. The benefits of having grandparents are ignored because parents do not want anyone to rule them or teach them how to raise their children, and rightly so.
However, having grandparents in the family has more advantages than disadvantages. It all depends on the personality, expectations, input, and styles of communication of all people. Often parents and grandparents get into a position where they contend for “parenting.”
For smaller issues such as discipline, the menu for lunch, watching TV, birthday gifts, style of dress, housework, etc. Soon become the focus of disputes. Previous confrontations remember and reflect, and conflicts begin.
Many times father and grandfather stay out of trouble, to listen to the murmur of wives who no longer get along. Children are intelligent enough to use the situation for their benefit.
What should you do to avoid such situations? Can these broken families reunite? Read this article to know both sides of the story.
Strategies for parents:
Avoid shouting or talking to grandparents. If there is a contradiction, discuss it when the children are not around. Remember that children may not be good listeners, but they are excellent observers.
Set some basic rules that everyone should follow – including grandparents, such as Watching TV. Let the principles be discussed with everyone before implementation.
If you think you are unjustly accused and criticized, it should talk about it immediately. If you feel interference, a double play, short story on the side of the grandparents, openly discuss this and let the steam blow away early.
Pass your expectations very clear to every family member. Tell everyone what to do. Praise your grandparents if you think they have done a good job or if they helped you. Never expect too much from them. Consider age restrictions. Avoid criticism and bad comments. It hurts at their age.
Hand over your responsibilities to your grandparents when you’re gone. Let them feel that they matter. Use their experience and wisdom instead of using them. Trust is a greater compliment than being loved.
Make an appointment for regular family gatherings and meetings. Eat at least one family meal together is a significant step towards healthy family relationships. Feel free to seek advice from grandparents on essential matters, e.g., discipline, professional choices, financial matters, family rituals, etc.
What you do to your grandparents is likely to be repeated a few years later by your children. Be a good role model while you expect to treat your children well when you grow old.
Prepare yourself for the future, not very good relations only now, Times change. Do not expect the same love and intimacy from today’s children that you show to today’s grandparents.
Strategies for grandparents:
Remember the basic rule: you are not a parent. Never interfere with sensitive issues such as discipline and studies, unless you are asked to do so. Avoid party, especially in front of children.
Never humiliate/criticize parents against children. Whatever you want to do should be private. Do not use children to fight their parents. Never use phrases like “if it is me …” or “In your time …” or “When you were a child …” or “When yours became old like me, it could be worse than what I did in the morning. ‘ etc.
Requirements for parenting and what is made up on parenting are continually changing. What was rational yesterday may not be relevant today and shall never apply tomorrow.
Give positive feedback when you feel that the parents have done an excellent job. Compliment quickly and blame slowly.
After all, you are the pillars of the family. Pillars are used to supporting, not create obstacles.
Children, especially young people, can rebel. In this case, do not feel humiliated. Discuss the steps to be taken in an emergency. Use humor whenever possible.
Family rituals and meetings are the best platforms for discussion and negotiation on issues requiring delicate service. Try to instill family norms and values for your growing grandchildren and provide appropriate explanations each time.
Give priority to parents care over the requirements of grandchildren. In the event of disputes, listen to both sides and find a mutually acceptable solution, thus acting as a buffer. Take a vacation for short periods. Let family members feel you are needed.
It is believed that a shared family system is best for the growth and development of children. Although the concept is slowly disappearing, some people still prefer the nuclear family system.